Ever catch yourself wondering if you’re holding a grudge—or if there’s more to it? Maybe you’re a little less eager to rely on a friend, colleague, or partner after they let you down. You might brush it off, thinking you’re just being petty, but sometimes it’s way deeper than that. Often, it’s not a grudge; it’s a trust fracture.

When someone breaks trust, it rattles your confidence in them. Their “trust credit score” takes a nosedive. Trust isn’t something you just hand over once and never think about again; it’s built over time through consistent actions. And when someone fails on that front, it’s like trust flies out the window in buckets but trickles back in drops.

Let’s be real—holding a grudge is about clinging to resentment, even when someone tries to make things right. But fractured trust isn’t about bitterness; it’s a natural reaction to someone messing up the trust equation.

When trust is fractured:

   • You can’t lean on that person like before.
   • Your confidence in them? Yeah, that’s taken a hit.
   • Their “trust track score” tanked, making it hard to see them as reliable.

Trust is a Vibe, Not a One-Time Thing

Trust doesn’t come from what people say; it’s all about those everyday actions. We trust people who repeatedly show they’re dependable, honest, and respectful. So when someone slips up, it disrupts that vibe you thought was solid.

Think of it like building a tower with Jenga blocks. Every block is an action that supports trust. But one shaky move, and the whole thing wobbles. Fixing it takes patience and intention—this isn’t about drudging up old mistakes, but re-establishing that vibe of reliability.

Holding a grudge? It keeps you stuck. But addressing a trust fracture? That’s where the growth happens. Rebuilding trust takes both sides, commitment, and time. Here’s the playbook:

1. Lay Out the Expectations: Have a real convo about what went wrong and what needs to happen for trust to rebuild.
2. Actions > Apologies: Words aren’t enough; show you mean it. Consistency is the name of the game.
3. Progress Over Perfection: Trust is a long game, so celebrate small wins along the way instead of expecting an overnight turnaround.

At the end of the day, you’re not holding a grudge; you’re acknowledging what’s broken and figuring out how to fix it. Recognizing a trust fracture lets you rebuild something stronger—drop by drop, block by block. Trust isn’t a one-time gift; it’s a collection of actions that show up over and over.

Jordan was the go-to person in their department—dependable and efficient. But as responsibilities piled up, they started dropping the ball, missing deadlines, and delivering less-than-stellar work. Colleagues started feeling frustrated and thought they might be holding a grudge. But in reality, it wasn’t resentment; it was fractured trust.

After a direct conversation during a team review, Jordan realized how much trust had eroded and committed to turning things around. They scaled back on extra commitments, focused on delivering quality, and consistently followed through on every promise. Over time, their team began to see a new, reliable Jordan—one who had learned that trust is built action by action, not by words alone.

At the end of the day, you’re not holding a grudge; you’re acknowledging what’s broken and what it’ll take to fix it. Trust is a gift of repeated behaviors, not a one-time grant of words.

🔍 Here’s a quick exercise: Use this guide to understand the Top 5 Fractures in an office and how to repair them.

Would this be an appropriate topic for your Annual Leadership Retreat? Let’s help your team raise their Trust Credit Score™ and build stronger relationships for success.

If you would like change the culture around your office and your team the help they need, book a call with me at CallTheEnergizer.com

This will be a popular topic for your Annual Leadership Retreat.

Scott Carley
Trust Energizer